Have you noticed that the more you try to control the people and events in your life, the less in control you feel?
But when you relax the tightness of your grip, and pay attention to what is actually happening (instead of what you think should be happening), then you are fully available to respond creatively and appropriately in each moment.
How does one do this?
Make the shift from the Security/Control Mindset to the Learning/Discovery Mindset and see what a profound difference it makes in your personal and business success.
Learning/Discovery is the ability to live in a continual state of openness to being surprised and a continual state of acceptance of "what is." (Organizations and teams can learn to do this, too.) When you are focused on learning, as opposed to controlling, your attention naturally goes toward discovering what this current situation requires of you. You do not waste valuable time and energy wishing things were different, assigning blame, trying to be right, or manipulating people. You maintain your sense of well-being, regardless of whether things turn out as planned. The Learning/Discovery Mindset is the key to a successful happy life -- because no matter what happens, you're always learning and expanding your capacity for handling new situations.
Every person, every team, every organization has its own way of trying to maintain the illusion of control: the illusion that if I/we do this, I/we will get this result. Some people push harder, while others get more conciliatory. Some get angry, and others become sneaky. Anything that is done to protect oneself from anxiety or uncertainty generally will backfire on you. You have to learn at some point to deal with whatever happens.
Let's face it most of the things you try to control, are really beyond your control. However there is a way to successfully deal with the reality of constant change.
Let me provide you (and those important to you) with an experience of the benefits of Learning/Discovery. Learning/Discovery sees an organization, a couple, or an individual as an evolving, living system whose purpose is to continually learn from its experience and improve its performance.
When you embrace Learning/Discovery as your basic stance in life, you are present and fully available for what each new moment brings.